Hetalia crackfic – The Italian Eyepocalypse.
It was a sunny day in Antarctica, and the Axis + Romano, Spain and Prussia were running after a penguin they could eat. Suddenly, Grandpa Rome appeared and said ‘HAIL ALL THE PENGUINS,’ then he disappeared.
Italy then stared up into the sky. ‘GRANDPA ROOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!111!!!1.’ Then he grew wings and tried to fly after Rome, but he fell onto an anorexic penguin.
All his bones cracked and he broke his left pinky nail. He screamed and opened his eyes.
All the nations looked at him in terror. ‘ITALY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! YOU’VE KILLED US ALL!!!’ Germany screamed.
And then, a rumbling was heard from the sky, and giant pasta and meatballs started falling from the sky. They all screamed, and Romano was squashed by a giant meatball. ‘Roma! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!’ Spain cried and hugged the meatball. Then he took a butcher knife a started carving a turtle into the meatball, while smiling crazily. ‘Hehehe, now you’re gonna be a sexy turtle.’
Italy was still screaming, but then he stood up and ran to Doitsu. ‘Germany... I don’t think I’ll... Be able to.. Survive this...’ and he fell to the ground. ‘ITALIA!! NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIN!!!!’ Germany cried but then started dancing to Disco Pogo with Prussia, while stripping.
Suddenly, England and Scotland flew to Antarctica in a magic school bus, wearing the bikinis from Katy Perry’s California Gurls music video; while singing the song. They landed beside Italy’s dead body and kept on twerking in the bus.
Japan gasped, ‘Oh my God, this is my jam!’ He than started raping a meatball.
Then a bunch of volcanoes popped up from the ground, lasagna sauce flowing from all of them, while Iceland was riding down the sauce on a chocolate bar, with Mr. Puffin wearing hipster sunglasses.
Iceland then swaggered over to Japan and started hitting his butt with a sausage.
Then another rumbling was heard from the sky, and a scream was heard.
Random countries started falling from the sky. The Allies, the Nordics, the Baltics, the Asian countries, you name it.
‘LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!’ A fabulous Romania was standing on a pile of meatballs, he started singing “Its Raining Men.”
During all this chaos, no one noticed Grandpa Rome standing a few meters away, smiling evily.
‘Hehehe, my plan has worked!’
He than disappeared, leaving a trail of orange juice behind him; only to be never seen again.